Dancing the cynicism away

 This morning, the course group took part in a dance session! It was one of the things I have been most skeptical about in my life, since I’ve always been quite a self-conscious dancer (when not under cover of darkness at least). 

The Ballroom

My favoured form of dancing has tended to be trance music, often well over 120bpm, in which the tempo of the music lends itself to quick movements, and I’ve generally stayed away from dancing with partners, as I certainly don’t want anyone seeing if I get it wrong. Also, I’ve never favoured anything called ‘folk’ dancing, most likely because I had the idea that if I did it wrong, I would not only embarrass myself but also be insulting the culture that the dance is from?

Trust Findhorn to put me in a situation where I need to do exactly this  - although the session was actually so well-structured, that I didn’t once feel self-conscious or embarrassed (though I certainly did make a fair few ‘mistakes’, what worked well was that the dances were new for everyone except the teacher, so we were all in equal footing and step, so to speak).

After the session I felt wonderfully cleared, and I’m seeing even that small bit of cynicism inside of myself evaporate. I have no doubt that there will be difficult times ahead, in the course and thereafter, but If I can manage to dance for 90 minutes without feeling bad about it, I’m already learning that nothing makes us suffer more, than fear of suffering itself.

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Later, we went on a tour of the property, however, I do confess that I was not able to pay as much attention as I would have liked, as today was the coldest experience of my adult life. I was wearing almost as many layers as I would have liked, but perhaps I should have worn two pairs of socks, two pairs of pants and a scarf as well… 

In the afternoon we sat in the meditative Sanctuary and chose Angel cards to represent our journey. As a group we chose the Creativity card, which I think is appropriate as we need to be very creative to solve the problems of the world.

For myself I chose the Respect card, which means that I recognise that I can be very abrasive and critical of others, and their methods. I’d like to learn how to respect, without giving up my ability to be analytical and scientific – in that the word ‘science’ has ‘sci’ in it, which is the Latin word for cut – sometimes being hit with cold, hard facts at the wrong time, can feel very cutting.

I’m not sure how to get there yet, but I’m sure if I apply creativity to the process,  I’ll be well on my way…